Pam Blondie, Bezos and WeightWatchers Walk Into a Bar

February 13, 2026

Good morning,

On deck today we’ve got… Congress flirting with having a backbone, Trump handing out tariff loyalty tests, and Jeff Bezos telling Walgreens to pack it up.

Let’s run through the biggest stock market stories in just a couple minutes.

-God forbid Congress actually has a backbone for once…

No matter which team you’re batting for (or if you’re just here for the popcorn), DC delivered an Academy Award-level performance on Wednesday. While Pam Blondie’s hearing didn’t rewrite history, it did split Twitter into a confused thirst trap on one side and a transparency crusade on the other. Politics, baby.

The standout? When pressed on why she allegedly sat on the Epstein files for so long, she basically waved it off with: the American people shouldn’t care… the Dow’s at 50,000.

Which I’m 100% stealing next time I’m losing an argument at home. “Why didn’t you take the trash out?” Babe. The Dow is at 50,000. Priorities.

Fast forward to later that night, and things didn’t go too hot for Donnie Tariffhands either. While POTUS was firing off TRUTH Social posts in full caps-lock glory about the sacred holiness of tariffs, the House looked at his Canada trade war and said: “Cool sermon. We’re voting anyway.”

And vote they did.

In a 219-211 squeaker, the House passed Rep. Gregory Meeks’ resolution to disapprove of Trump’s Canada tariffs. A few Republicans crossed the aisle. One Democrat crossed back. Democracy, baby. Democrats erupted in cheers, which tells you everything about how tense that chamber was.

Now, this heads to the Senate. Even if it clears that hurdle, Trump is almost guaranteed to veto. But symbolism matters… especially when you’ve got a razor-thin majority and a President publicly threatening political extinction mid-vote.

“Any Republican… that votes against TARIFFS will seriously suffer the consequences come Election time,” Trump posted. Nothing says healthy intra-party dialogue like a Tony-Soprano-level threat, amirite? Obviously this was way more important than maple syrup and auto parts. This was a loyalty exam.

House Republicans were forced to choose: stay aligned with Trump’s “America First” tariff crusade… or vote against a policy many think is economically messy.

Because here’s the issue: opponents argue the Canada tariffs raise costs on groceries, energy, and manufacturing inputs… the stuff voters notice immediately at checkout. That’s not ideal in swing districts where “economic nationalism” sounds poetic until you’re staring at the receipt.

Even if this resolution dies via veto (which it probably will), the vote itself is the headline. More Republicans than just Thomas Massie publicly rebuked a signature Trump policy… and did it on the record.

Article I still exists.

Whether that reminder survives Trump’s veto pen is another story.

-Call your grandma and let her know that trip to Walgreens is officially cancelled. Because the (pharmacy) game done changed.

Jeff Bezos’ global takeover operation (read: Amazon) just announced it’s expanding same-day prescription delivery to nearly 4,500 U.S. cities and towns by the end of 2026. That’s roughly 2,000 new communities, including full statewide coverage in Idaho and Massachusetts.

If you recall, back in 2018, Amazon entered the prescription drug market by acquiring PillPack. At the time, most people laughed. “Cute,” said CVS while locking up the toothpaste behind bulletproof glass.

Well, fast forward to 2026… and Amazon’s pharmacy arm is building something dangerous: speed + scale + subscription pricing.

Seriously, why drive 30 minutes to a pharmacy, wait behind someone arguing about a coupon from 2009, and then get told your script isn’t ready… when Jeffro can just yeet it to your doorstep?

Amazon says the expansion comes as pharmacy closures, staffing shortages, and transportation barriers make it harder to access medications… especially in places like the buttcrack of West Virginia where a “quick refill” turns into a half-day ordeal. Translation: the private equity firm that bought Walgreens might have made a YUGE mistake.

They also improved delivery speeds across all 50 states and D.C. in 2025. Meaning: faster shipping is now hitting remote Alaska towns and parts of the Navajo Nation, where the nearest pharmacy can be nearly an hour away.

Talk about competitive positioning. Because when access is the problem… logistics is the moat. And logistics just happens to be Amazon’s favorite sport.

Amazon is also integrating pharmacy services with One Medical, the primary care provider it acquired in 2023. Some One Medical patients can grab prescriptions at in-clinic kiosks. Oh, and One Medical just so happens to run on a $199 annual membership model.

See where this is going?

Doctor visit. Prescription written. Medication filled. All inside the Amazon ecosystem.

This goes way past selling pills. It’s about owning the workflow.

Don’t forget, in October, Amazon partnered with WeightWatchers to supply medications (including injectable GLP-1 obesity treatments) to members. They also offer the oral GLP-1 version of Wegovy.

So today’s announcement will absolutely help Amazon dominate the Ozempic Wars.

That’s a wrap for today,

The Team at Bullseye Trades

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